A lot of the interpersonal conflicts reach a critical level due to our inability to scan our emotions. We don’t understand when we reach the point of desperation, anger and act upon those feelings. In other words, we lack self-awareness that allows us to understand all of our emotions and stay calm.
The good news is that we can develop self-awareness and indulge all of the benefits that it brings! Bad news – this process takes some time. So we should be gentle with ourselves and understand that we are in a process of change and the big change never comes easy. By the end of this journey, the victory is greater.
Acquiring self-awareness will help us be stable in every situation; from a conflict with a relative to an everyday interaction with our employer or employee, even going on a date with someone for the first time would be less nerve-wrecking. It’s crucial for every human to learn self-monitoring in order to act appropriately in every situation.
So how can we get started?
Every feeling comes from a thought. Throughout a day, we need to try to scan ourselves on what we are feeling. Do we feel bad? Do we feel good? Do we feel anxious or scared? Do we feel worried or excited? After identifying those emotions we have to go back inside of our head and see what kind thoughts came before those feelings.
Even during the process of analyzing where those feelings came from we can see that the emotions begin to change; our feelings follow our thoughts. When we are rational in what we are thinking – we become more stable, calm and secure, because we are taking charge of what is going on inside.
This practice of identifying the feelings and their origins (thoughts) may take a little while before the true benefits will unfold. If we would like to expedite the process, we must scan our feelings every few hours and see where our mind has traveled. We can even set an alarm to remind ourselves to monitor what we are feeling at the moment, or keep a journal that will carry detailed description of this process.
And, I love you!